Aaron Kee

I woke up with a tinge of excitement and anticipation this morning. It was still dark and the birds were happily chirping in the background. I guess this time of year does that to me –the eve of New Year — a sense of starting out your life again at ground zero, ushering in the new year and renewing your vows and resolutions.

This is also one of those times when many people will reflect on their life. And the media will be bombarding us with The Ten Best.. Worst.. Most Inspiring.. Most Beautiful.. but any intense thoughts are furthest from my mind. What can you really say when Rebecca Black got 100 million hits on YouTube? But is life really all there is, and then you die? Is there a heaven? I hear that it’s a paradise; filled with love and happiness. Or maybe we end up in hell rather than heaven. Or somewhere in between??

We think there is always a tomorrow so “why not wait, what’s the rush, why act now, why expose our feelings today?” Why risk being vulnerable or look foolish? Why take the chance? You know why?? Because today what we feel, what we love, what is real, is what we have. Tomorrow it may all change. Enjoy the present, each moment, as it comes, because you’ll never get another one quite like it.

And if you are frighten of taking your next step, embrace the uncertainty. Be brave as it challenges you to exercise your faith, your heart and your mind and create your own path towards your happiness. Allow it to lead you to your hopes and dreams.

Sometimes being happy is hard, it’s exhausting. You have to do things that scare the hell out of you even. You have to get your hands a little dirty sometimes. And it is so easy for us to forget the simplest of things while we fervently spend our days trying to learn how to be happy. Maybe we ought to think about the stuff that makes the stars and that being happy didn’t have to be so difficult.

Life can push pretty hard sometimes but if you look close enough you find joy in the words of children, in the lyrics of a song and in the eyes of someone you love. Simple things like that –like the sound the waves make. No matter how much faith we carry within us, there will be times when we feel lost, confused, scared. It is the way of the human heart. Life can be magnificent and overwhelming all at the same time. Someone once described life without beauty, love or danger, it would almost be too easy to live.

And if we should ever find ourselves lost, we just have to simply take a breath and start over. Sometimes we build something only to have it tear down when the feeling no longer suits us. We have to retrace our steps and go back to that place in our heart — where our hope lives and find our way again. Sure, we make mistakes and we think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go. Sometimes we have to let go even if it hurts.

And just you remember this, “even a map cannot show you the way back to a place that no longer exists.”

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“Think back and replay your year; if it doesn’t bring you tears of either joy or sadness, consider it wasted.” 

Have a mind-blasting 2012!

This is usually the time of year our collective human minds reflect on the past twelve months of our lives. But between living and dying, we’re continuously spinning on the wheel of life.

This is also a time when a lot of people try to figure out the meaning of life, or look to God– God can exist or not, life can be meaningless or important, either way– we’re on this big wheel that goes round and round and it never stops. At any given moment, you can be flying high, and it’s all a bed of roses. But one more spin and it’s broken glasses, shattered dreams and day turning into night, hope into helplessness. There’s something scary about that and there’s something beautiful about it.

Sometimes life hits you right smack in the eye — you can be facing a moment that is literally a life or death situation or having the best time of your life. When you’re faced with true life – it’s either you’re at the height of happiness or the depth of despair. And that’s what I find quietly beautiful and profoundly sad about it.

Our lives is always spinning and revolving and we should embrace it wholeheartedly. We should endeavour to enjoy as many amazing experiences as we can find. And we should not fear the bad times slipping in because they’re part of the tapestry of life. Even if the worst imaginable thing has happened, we have to believe that there is some spark to be found in the most dismal of times. There’s always a silver lining behind the darkness.

And we have to keep in mind that whichever side of the wheel we’re on — the other side is waiting for us; if it’s going to come, and when it does, we have to be ready with our eyes wide open. Because you never know what’s coming or what it’s going to be. Maybe what is written is true, we each have a destiny to fulfil and we’re all floating around accidental-like on a breeze — and both are happening at the same time.

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How was your Christmas? Mine was sweet & memorable. 

Fun fact: More than half of the Thai’s population have braces.

Day 2 of my week-long break. Spent most of the day traveling around inside the car.

The thing about traveling that I enjoy most is the chance to observe the local culture, the people & their daily activities. It gives me a brief peek into their lives, an opportunity to appreciate the diversity in life than we all seem to have taken for granted.

Sometimes we should just take a step back and look around, merriment is all around you.

“Never ignore those who love and care for you because one day you may realise you have lost the moon while counting the stars.”

Some people are afraid to love. And can we blame them? When you love someone, truly love them, you lay your heart open. You let them inside a part of you and you become vulnerable because from henceforth they can hurt you. And when they hurt, it can be devastating. It leaves you naked and exposed, wondering what you did to make them want to hurt you like that. And for some people who are hurting, they may even ask themselves; what is wrong with me that no one can love me? To have it happen once is bad enough but to have it repeated? Who the hell in their right mind would not be terrified of that?

Love is always new regardless of whether we love once, twice, or a dozen times in our life. It can consign us to heaven or hell. Is it worth it when it could mean hours, days, weeks of disappointment and sadness?

We want to fall in love because the experience makes us feel alive. Our every sense is heightened, our every emotion is intensified. Sometimes it may just last a moment, an hour, an afternoon, sometimes all we are left with are memories. But you have to love like crazy, madly and with passion because there are too many mediocre things in life already and love shouldn’t be one of them. This is what I have always believed in and how I lived by.

Of course, we have loved and been loved. And sometimes that experience in itself, is worth all the heartaches that came with it. Sometimes we think that to develop an open heart, to be truly in love, means that we need to be passive, to allow others to use us, to abuse us, take advantage of us, do what they want with us. But if you are in that frame of thinking when in love, then you better check your emotions at the door my dear.

It is quite true to say that we are driven by two basic motivational forces; fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back, when we are in love, we are open to all that life has to offer with passion and excitement. But we need to overcome the main hurdle, we need to learn to love ourselves first. If we cannot love ourselves, how can we truly love others? Some of us may have figured that out long ago but we are still struggling with it.

The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. And you can’t force love. It’s there or it isn’t. If it’s not there, you’ve got to be able to accept it. If it is there, you’ve got to do whatever it takes to protect the love.

Sometimes we love someone so much, you can’t see yourself without picturing the person. To know what it’s like to touch someone, and feel like you’ve come home. It’s like you’re meant to be together. Some people spend their whole lives looking for that one person. Love is not the promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every minute of the day. That is just being ‘in love’, love itself is what is left when being in love has burned away.

Do you ever have one of those mornings getting up at dawn and there was such a sense of possibility. You know that feeling? And I remember thinking to myself; This is happiness. You could feel you heart beating a little faster and you have this vague tingling delightful sensation as if there’s a pair of hands caressing your insides. It was happiness. It was the moment. Right then. Right there. And then it goes away. You wish you have more of such mornings so full of promises.

Sometimes you tell yourself; I don’t want to grow up; I don’t want to be an adult. Acting grown up and being an adult is hard, you have only yourself to depend on and you have to take care of yourself. Sure, you may have your family and maybe a partner or friends with you, but ultimately you are alone, you have always been alone and you will end up alone. Someday everything will end and you will be forgotten and no one will even remember you. Some mornings these thoughts run through my mind and I think I must be the most morbid creature there is in this world.

So this week I am going to take plenty of time to breathe, stretch and relax, it’s taking a little longer than usual to feel refreshed once again. Sometimes issues weigh in and you feel overwhelmed. Despite my best efforts to look after myself during the day, I’ve yet to sleep through the night this past week, and I feel my body and mind is suffering. And I slipped, stumbled and injured myself. The moral of the story is always be in the moment and pay attention especially when a sign says “Slippery when wet.”

I have a confession to make, some mornings I just want to have a decadent sweet breakfast; a glass of hot Milo and waffle biscuits because it makes me feel like a kid and I have to say it relaxes me and you know how much I love my coffee in the morning. It reminds me of childhood when my mother used to make me milo before I go to school.

I just have to remind myself that wherever I am, whatever I’m doing, I’m going to be just fine. Believe me when I say how hard it is to eat right, move our bodies, take care of ourselves, focus and face with bravery any issues we have on hand.

Have a beautiful December everyone.